The Great GoKart race!
by Mozart's Alla Turca
Summary: Everyone in Nerima is bored. Really really bored. So they all decide to go go-karting! The realChapter 4 is up!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I didn't create any of these characters. I'm writing this disclaimer so that you, the reader, will not sue me for copyright infringement.  
  
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Akane lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, bored out of her mind.  
  
Ranma was out in the back, beating up a straw Ryoga dummy, bored out of his mind.  
  
Ryoga was writing Akane's name on a wall, bored out of his mind.  
  
Ukyo was sweeping out front of her restaurant, bored out of her mind.  
  
Mousse was sweeping out the Nekohanten, bored out of his mind.  
  
Shampoo was making ramen, bored out of her mind.  
  
Kasumi was cleaning house, bored out of her mind.  
  
Nabiki was counting spare change, bored out of her mind.  
  
Dr. Tofu was looking at patient records, bored out of his mind.  
  
Kuno was practicing kendo on a giant photo of Ranma, bored out of his mind.  
  
Why were they all bored you ask? Who knows. No one in Nerima was doing anything particularly interesting, which is rare. Cologne had taken Happousai to the Amazon village to take him before the council, for stealing her bracelet of love pills. No one felt like fighting. It was just a boring day. Ranma had a bright idea for once in his life, however. Maybe you'd call that interesting, I dunno.  
  
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Wow Ranma! What a great idea, inviting everyone to come go-karting! Everyone had decided to come along. mostly because they had nothing better to do and Ranma was paying. Yeah, I pride myself on my brain. Glare from Akane. Jerk, you pride yourself on everything. So? Who asked you?  
  
Oh my. They do pick the most inopportune moments to fight, don't you think so Dr. Tofu? Foggy glasses. Well...uh...uh....Kasumi! Fancy seeing you in my office! What a pleasant surprise! Nabiki rolled her eyes. Dr. Tofu, we're at the go-kart track. He really looked clueless. Really? Go-karts? How do they work?  
  
At that moment, an annoying employee guy came up. Sorry for the inconvenience folks, but the only go-karts we have working today are the double seaters.  
  
There was a moment of silence before the group began yelling and pounding each other for partners. Shampoo! Ride with me!! Airen! Ignore stupid Mousse, wo ai ni! My beloved Akane, date with me! Ranma-honey! Get away from that bimbo! I'm the cute one! Ack! Help! Oh my! Break it up people, break it up! Whoa, hey! Who are you? Quit hugging me!  
  
Everyone froze and looked up at annoying employee guy. Shampoo and Ukyo were glomping Ranma. Akane was looking angrily at him, with Kuno hugging her. Nabiki and Kasumi were trying to stop them all with the help of Dr. Tofu, who was being glomped by Mousse.   
  
Annoying employee guy rubbed his temples. All right, I'll pair you up. A guy and a girl, and the guy has to drive. Annoying employee guy started to pair them up.  
  
Eventually, they were all in cars as follows: Ranma and Akane, Mousse and Shampoo, Ryoga and Ukyo, Kuno and Nabiki, Dr. Tofu and Kasumi.  
  
Annoying employee was satisfied. Everyone okay with this? Not everyone. Shampoo no want ride in car with stupid duck boy! Tendo Nabiki, I do not wish to sit in this go-kart with you any longer than need be. Same here Kuno-baby. Ranma-honey! I wanted to go with Ranma-honey!   
  
Annoying employee guy cut off their distraught cries for help. Too bad, you're stuck like this. Unless you want to leave this go-kart track. Ranma spoke up. Do we get a refund? Ranma growled at everyone. Everyone SIT DOWN! I paid for this and you're gonna like it!  
  
Annoying employee guy decided to spice things up a bit and be even more annoying. All right gentlemen, we'll turn this into a race! Whoever completes one hundred laps first gets an all expense paid date to anywhere!  
  
This was the stupidest thing the guy could have said. For some, Jusenkyo crossed their minds. For others, a date!   
  
Ryoga jumped out of his seat next to Ukyo. Ranma turned around. Shut up, pig boy!   
  
Annoying employee guy just doesn't know when to shut up. Ladies, you'll just have to sit with your partner for a hundred laps, cause it's gonna be a bumpy ride!  
  
There were plenty of boos and groans at his idiocy. Oh well. Shampoo no like you, stupid Stupid-man!! Mousse, you better win! We go Jusenkyo and Shampoo never be cat again! Then Ranma love Shampoo!  
  
And so, the great go-kart race began!!! Almost! Or it will next chapter!  
  
  
  
A/N- Anyone like this? At all? If you do, please review. The more reviews, the sooner the next chapter. And, let's take a vote on who should win. Write the winning couple in your review. By the next update, whoever has the least amount of votes will get disqualified from the race, or something will happen to them....hehehehehe...so, ten reviews and I'll update, kay?


	2. The race begins!

Disclaimer: I don't own, please don't sue, I ain't got nothin' to give to you. ^_^  
  
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Annoying employee guy finally got them all buckled into their seats. All right, remember, 100 laps, guy drives, and girls will operate the pit stops! Everyone ready?!  
  
They glared at each other. Nabiki stifled a yawn. Annoying employee guy materialized a green flag. On your marks, get set, GO!!!!  
  
The karts sped off. Annoying employee guy cackled insanely and motioned for his fellow employees to come out of their hiding places. Oh, that was priceless. Did you see the looks on their faces?! HA! Yeah right, as if every single go-kart would go out at once, leaving only doubles. I told you guys we could do something fun today.  
  
~~~~~On the racetrack~~~~~~  
  
Ranma revved the kart. Akane growled. Come on, Ranma! Faster! Faster! He shot her a look. I'm going as fast as I can! I CAN'T GO ANY FASTER!!! Eyes on the road you idiot!  
  
Nabiki turned to Kuno. Hey. I'll bet you 5000 yen that you lose. Kuno turned around. Don't you mean we lose' Tendo Nabiki? She laughed. Ha! Like I'd sit in a car with you for that long! Nope, I'll be long gone by the time this race is finished. Kuno laughed. Ha ha ha ha ha! Good! I'll take your bet. I shall defeat that cur Saotome without your help!  
  
Mousse started running into the side of the track. Augh! We aren't going anywhere, Shampoo! Shampoo smacked him on the head. Stupid! Shampoo drive now... Shampoo shoved Mousse over and took control of the wheel.  
  
Dr. Tofu seemed to have gotten the hang of the go-kart. He also seemed to have forgotten that Kasumi was sitting right next to him. This is a cinch! Kasumi smiled. You really are good at this, Doctor. Reality struck, and Dr. Tofu started spinning. Ah, ah...k-kasumi! Wh...what a pleasant ...su-surprise! How lovely of you to v-v-visit me in my office! He slammed into Ranma and Akane's car.   
  
Ranma jolted forward as he hit Tofu and Kasumi's go-kart. OH MY GOD! Akane looked up to see Ryoga and Ukyo speeding directly at them. Going the opposite direction of course.   
  
There was a weird mixture of Ryoga screaming like a little girl and Ukyo calling him a jackass. Ranma whipped around in his seat. ROAD HOG!  
  
Ryoga and Ukyo zoomed down the racetrack like a bat out of hell. Ryoga! Where are you trying to go?! Wrong way, jackass! Ryoga closed his eyes. I can't watch anymore! Ukyo screamed and they bumped into Kuno and Nabiki's go-kart, causing some weird transaction in which Ukyo and Nabiki flew out of their seats and switched places.  
  
Nabiki rolled her eyes. Move over, Ryoga. She grabbed hold of the wheel and turned them in the right direction.   
  
Ukyo yelled every profanity she knew, causing Kuno to look at her strangely. Well said, oh spatula one.  
  
~~~~~~~employees~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Annoying employee guy looked up and saw Nabiki and Shampoo driving for their partners. Hey! I said guys drive! Now do it right or don't do it at all!  
  
~~~~~~~racetrack~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Shampoo humphed' and moved over, letting Mousse drive. You better not screw up, duck-boy! Shampoo get mad! Mousse tried his best, but it didn't seem to work. He just kept running into things.  
  
Nabiki let go of the wheel, but she wasn't about to let Ryoga go the wrong way. She grabbed his wrist instead, so that if he started to lose control, she could nip it in the bud.  
  
Finally it was time for the first pit stop.  
  
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Akane hopped out of the car and tried to repair the damages caused by the Tofu/Kasumi collision. Apparently, what she lacked in cooking skills she redeemed herself with racing skills.   
  
Ukyo stepped out of Kuno's car and ran as far away as she could from the deranged, poet loving kendoist. Kodachi popped out of nowhere. Ohohohohohohohohohoho!! I shall join this race, brother dear! But you know, that if we win, I shall use it to date darling Ranma! She snapped her fingers and Sasuke appeared to do the pit work for her.  
  
Nabiki got out of Ryoga's go-kart. All right, here I go! The middle Tendo sister was also very proficient in car repairs it seemed, so she and Ryoga were A-ok.  
  
Kasumi daintily got out of the Tofu car. Oh, it seems we have some work to do! Her house cleaning skills helped her fix the car up with record speed.  
  
Now, when Shampoo stepped out of the Amazon go-kart, it seemed that Cologne was there waiting for her. Shampoo, give these to Mousse! The withered old crone pulled out what seemed to be a pair of racing goggles. What these for, great-grandmother? Cologne smiled. They seem to be ordinary, but I have fixed them so that Mousse will have perfect eyesight. Better than anyone out here I may say. Shampoo rushed over to give them to Mousse who, having heard Cologne's speech, buckled them onto his head. Wow, I can see!  
  
And so the race began again. They had gone 20 laps.  
  
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A/N- ta da! Long long update. And I know I didn't get 10 reviews, but like I said, long update. But 7 is okay. I got some really great ideas from you guys. Especially Sun-Tzu Liao 3r. Thanks for the great ideas, though I couldn't use them all. I didn't really want them all to die....  
So, once again, vote for the winners in your review, and send me ideas! I will probably use them! Until next update.   



	3. Pigs, and ducks, and cats, Oh My!

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 is not mine, with that said, I won't owe you a dime! (Did that rhyme? I dunno, maybe....)  
  
**Chapter 3  
  
** Maniacal laughs rang through the race track. Everyone was going insane, because Kodachi would NOT stop laughing. No one knows what she found so freakin' funny, but I don't even need to tell you that they were all about to kill her. (Even though I just told you anyway. You don't care. Come on. Admit it.)  
  
Ranma was grinding his teeth. I.....can't.....TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! He swerved to the side of the racetrack the Kunos were on. DIE Kodachi! Kodachi smiled. Ranma darling! I'm sorry I wasn't in your go-kart, but now we're close, and nothing shall part us!  
  
Akane obviously freaks out over nothing. You jerk! So that's what you were up to, eh? Maybe I should just switch karts so that you can be with Kodachi! Ranma's eyes bugged out. NO! Not that! Please anything but that! No no no no no no no no no no no no no!! Not with her!  
  
Akane wasn't listening. She just pulled out mallet-sama and began wailing on Ranma. Kodachi whipped out her ribbon. How dare you hurt my Ranma darling! She was about to attack Akane, when Kuno got out his bokken and got angry at his annoying sister.  
  
How dare you try to harm the fair Akane Tendo! Kodachi turned around. Are you picking a fight, brother dear? Kuno tch-ed' Of course I am! Kodachi began her laughter again. Ohohohhohohhohohohoho! It is futile brother!  
  
The two promptly began to fight, causing their kart to crash and burn in the go-kart-y inferno. Annoying/Sexist/Bossy Employee guy yelled over the loud speaker: The insane siblings are disqualified!  
  
Akane was still beating Ranma up.  
  
Surprisingly and out of nowhere, Mousse and Shampoo pulled to the front. Look, Shampoo! I'm doing it! Shampoo smiled. Yay! Shampoo no be cat, and Ranma love Shampoo! Mousse pouted. I love you even as a cat!   
  
Ryoga and Nabiki pulled up next to them. Ryoga leaned out. As if! We've got it locked! Tofu and Kasumi seemed to pop out of no where. Tofu was in some alternate reality where Kasumi was pregnant and he was a cab driver trying to rush her to a hospital.  
  
Hang on there, Ma'am! I'll get you to ShiShiHokoyama Hospital in no time flat! Kasumi had given up and decided to play along, so as they passed by the others, Kasumi seemed to be practicing her lamaze breathing.   
  
Ryoga and Mousse paused for a minute, staring, before continuing. And of course, rainclouds started formind.  
  
Mousse looked up. Holy sh- Thunderclap. It started pouring down. Ryoga's wheel was taken over by Nabiki, and Mousse was quacking like there was no tomorrow.  
  
Akane stopped pounding Ranma. Whoa, what're we gonna do now?   
  
Neko-Shampoo grabbed the wheel with her paws. Mousse tried to flap over to his new seat, but apparently, he couldn't see. Over on the sidelines, Cologne sighed and randomly started talking to herself for our benefit. Oh crap. Those gogles were a special perscription for humans. It won't work on ducks. And now his duck-sight is even worse. Argh. Curse you Happi!  
  
Happousai pops out of no where. What'd I do? Cologne glared at him. You insult me by breathing. Happi shrugged and materialized a go-kart. Wanna give it a shot? Cologne pogo-sticked into the kart.  
  
Annoying Employee guy starts freaking out. Augh! A pig, cat and duck? And now two girls in one kart? What'll we do? His friends popped up. Who cares anymore! It's still funny!  
  
Neko-Shampoo materialized some hot water for herself and continued the race. Shampoo win race! Mousse quacked beside her. Just as they were pulling to the front, pregnant' Kasumi and cab driver' Tofu caught up with them.  
  
Happi and Cologne appeared and sandwiched Shampoo and Mousse in the middle. Ack! Shampoo stuck! Ranma-chan and Akane sped past, followed by Nabiki and P-chan.  
  
Dr. Tofu screamed, We're almost there, Ma'am!! Kasumi nodded. Hee-hoo, hee-hoo Happi pointed. I swear this isn't my fault!  
  
Annoying Employee Guy got on the loud speaker agian. Time for another pit stop! The five remaining karts pulled in.   
  
Dr. Tofu kept going around the track. We're going to get to the hospital!   
  
Shampoo hopped out of the kart with cat-like reflexes. (hehehe) Mu Mu chan flew out and helped, not nessicarily being a guy'. The two were the first to complete their pit stop.   
  
Nabiki/P-chan and Akane/Ranma fixed up their cars with no problemo.   
  
Happi stopped the kart. We've gotta hurry or....hold on a sec... He returned from patting Ranma's butt. We've gotta hurry or we won't catch up. We've still got to go 20 more laps than them. Cologne poured some strange Amazon potion in the fuel tank. That otta do it.  
  
They had now gone 40 laps.   
  
  
A/N-Tum ta tum, ta tum ta ta tum tatta tum tum tum ta ta ta tum tata tum!!! Chapter 3! Wheee! Once again, your suggestions are hilarious. More please! (I made Kodachi die for you there) So anyways, winners in your review.  
Kasumi/Tofu  
Ranma/Akane  
Mousse/Shampoo  
Nabiki/Ryoga  
Happi/Cologne


	4. help!

  
**Help me. This isn't a real chapter guys.  
  
**I'm so confused. I was trying to tally up the votes properly, but a couple of you put down who you wanted to be put in first, second, third, and so on. I wasn't sure if I should ignore these or what. But alot of you put Mousse and Shampoo for Second Place, which doesn't count as a vote the way I'm doing it, and so the final result is looking something like this:  
  
First Place- Ryoga and Nabiki  
Second Place- Ranma and Akane, Kasumi and Tofu (tie)  
Third Place- Happousai and Cologne  
Fourth Place- Mousse and Shampoo (LAST!!! ;_;)  
  
The way this is going, I would have to get rid of Mousse and Shampoo in the next chapter, which would cause some of us to be mad. (Or maybe just me. I like Mousse.)   
  
Now if your reviews are to be taken seriously, many of you want Tofu and Kasumi dead. But the same amount want them to win! Argh! Not to mention the confusion from when they swapped partners.   
  
Now the partners are sorted out. Almost. Sun-Tzu Liao 3r really wants Konatsu and Ukyo to join the race. I would love to, but I don't know as much about Ranma 1/2 as I let on. In truth, I only own the manga vol. 1-22 (viz, I know it sucks) and I've only seen the TV series that I've bought, which is about 26 episodes all together and both of the movies. But I have no idea who Konatsu is! If you really want to put him/her (transvestite, right?) in there, I'm going to need to know some background information on him. So tell me!  
  
So, once again, it's not a review. Just tell me who Konatsu is AND it would really help me out if you could re-vote! So I can re-count! And possibly, someone other than Mousse and Shampoo can get out of this race. (Personally I'd like to get rid of Tofu/Kasumi)  
  
Thank you so much! I PROMISE I'll have the next chapter up by the week after next. I have exams next week and my parents are going out of town so I won't be here for another week. So I will get it up, depending on your votes and....what I know about Konatsu. Thanks again! Ja!


	5. Around the race track you must go

Disclaimer: I still don't own Ranma 1/2  
  
**Chapter 4  
  
** Happi and Cologne zoomed around the track. Woo hoo hoo!!! I'm the king of the road!!! Cologne rolled her eyes. They were passing everyone, yet she had to deal with Happousai. _Ah, oh well. This is pretty fun.  
  
_Shampoo, now human, (yes she has clothes on to make our lives easier, perverts) continued driving towards Ranma as fast as she could. Airen! Airen Shampoo sorry she no ride in go-kart with you! Shampoo try get to you!!! Mousse sweatdropped as Shampoo caught up with Ranma and Akane.  
  
Akane looked over her shoulder. Grrrrrrrr. Your girlfriend's here. Ranma's eyes got huge. WHAT?! Where?! He was relieved to see that Shampoo had no bike to squash him with, but was afraid of her none the less. AAAAAAACK! Sh-Shampoo!!!  
  
Shampoo dumped hot water on Mousse. Duck-boy, you take over wheel. Mousse did as was told. Hey, why not! It's not like he has any opinion of his own anyway. Shampoo hopped up on the hood of the kart.  
  
Good, Mousse, now drive Shampoo next to Ranma! Mousse did as was told. If that's what you want me to do Shampoo! I am your willing slave!! (right)  
  
Akane glared at Ranma-chan. Look, now see what she's doing. Ranma didn't say anything. His eyes got huge and Akane looked up and saw Shampoo's body flying toward her.   
  
Just in time, Akane jumped up and landed next to Mousse in his go-kart. Mousse kept driving. Let's go, Akane Tendo! For once, Akane decided not to be annoying (O.O) and she shrugged it off.   
  
~~~~~Meanwhile~~~~~  
  
Nabiki stared at P-chan. Why am I still driving this thing? And with that, she swerved off the road, sending P-chan flying into Mousse and Akane's kart.   
Akane gasped. P-chan! What are you doing here?! This is way to dangerous for a little piglet! And with that she grabbed him and put him in her lap.  
  
And Nabiki started on her way home to pick up some....supplies.  
  
~~~~~Dr. Tofu and Kasumi~~~~  
  
Dr. Tofu seemed to have gotten over his pregnant Kasumi phase and now believed that they were in a Fushigi Yugi fanfic. Miaka! We must summon Suzaku! NOW!!! Now this was just beyond Kasumi, so she just played dead.  
  
~~~~~And Nabiki has returned~~~~~  
  
Just then Nabiki showed up lugging a large bag behind her filled with God knows what. Following her was Ukyo and the entire Furinkan high student body. Ukyo set up her portable okonomiyaki stand and began selling refreshments.  
  
Nabiki reached into her bag and first pulled out one of those hot water kettles. She waited until Ranma and Shampoo pulled past and waved it in Ranma's face. Hey, wanna finish this race as a guy? Their go-kart screeched to a halt. How much you want. Nabiki's smile grew. 4500 yen. Ranma rolled his/her eyes and begrudgingly took out his billfold.  
  
Happi and Cologne zoomed around the race track a couple more times.Wheee hee hee!!! Faster!! FASTER!!!  
  
As they reached the next 20 lap stopping point, Happi and Cologne's car began to slow down. Ack! What's going on?! Cologne shook her head. The potion's wearing off, we're catching up with them. Happousai sat back in his seat, grumbling.  
  
Nabiki stood up and pulled a megaphone out of her bag. All right! She yelled, facing the crowd of students. I'll be taking your bets on the winners of this race! Any gamblers out there?  
  
Ukyo stood up. 5000 on Ran-chan and the bimbo! And so, Nabiki began taking her bets.  
  
~~~~~what happened to annoying employee guy?!~~~~  
  
Annoying Employee guy had long since given up and was now inside the ticket stand, playing poker with his buddies.  
  
~~~~~racetrack~~~~~  
  
And so, this 20 laps comes to an end and the remaining contestants pull in for their pit stop.   
  
Remaining contestants (in no particular order):  
Happi/Cologne  
Ranma/Shampoo  
Tofu/Kasumi  
Mousse/Akane/P-chan  
  
They have now gone 60 laps.  
  
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A/N- WAAAAAAAH!!!!!! T-T I am SOOOOOOO sorry for the....three month update. Stuff happened, it's summer, I kept leaving for vacations, and I'm just now free. ;_; I hope you haven't given up on my stupid little fic here. I have fun writing it. :D  
  
So, uh,I decided to forget about Konatsu. Yeah. But I kinda like the car with Mousse/Akane/P-chan! Heheheh, now you're wondering how on earth anyone's going to win and go on a date. Ha ha ha. SO! Once again, leave your votes in your review! AND THE NEXT UPDATE WILL BE A WHOLE LOT SOONER I SWEAR!!!!!


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